So, I’m Autistic… Now what?
I first thought about writing "So, I'm Autistic" back in 2018, but it didn’t feel like the right time. I was getting into the swing of my first full-time job, I was getting to know myself after finishing up my Master's degree, and I couldn’t see myself as an author. I could see myself as a reader as my childhood had been filled with what I can only describe as reading books at a pace that can be described as devouring them.
With the gentle and not-so-gentle encouragement of friends and colleagues, I held onto the idea and nurtured it into something I could see myself doing. I took the plunge, drafted a proposal, began researching and tried to figure out what I’d want to say. I had been diagnosed as autistic in 2014 and to be completely honest I was still figuring out what autism meant for me and importantly what being autistic meant. Autism and defining autistic existence comes with a whole vocabulary and rich lexicon built over the decades by those speaking about us and us speaking up for ourselves.
The diagnostic process itself left me with a whole lot of questions
“So, I’m autistic… Now what?”
“What does autism even mean?”
“How can I describe it to others without saying something wrong?”
In those four intervening years between my diagnosis and the idea of potentially answering all the questions I had to fight to find answers. Many of those answers came from research initially and predominantly from professionals who spoke from an outside in perspective. Those initial years of finding out about myself were filled with a heavy chunk of stigma and ableism wherever I looked until I found information about autism from autistic people’s perspectives. I began to understand myself, I began to help others and built a community of autistic people around me, a community that challenged the often damaging and hurtful narratives that we had listened to previously.
That process shouldn’t have taken four or five years for me to really settle into my autistic identity but I was battling a narrative that wasn’t as firmly focused on being neurodiversity-affirming as we find ourselves currently.
So, I took some time, I figured out what my voice would be and why I’d write a book. Pretty quickly it became obvious, to me at least, that handing someone a leaflet (if they’re lucky) with some links to information wasn’t all that useful after a diagnosis.
Most of the time the information after a diagnosis is aimed at parents or professionals who support autistic people, even then a lot of the information, support and training can be hard to access, outdated or no longer available. Nothing sums up the almost universal difficulties of accessing information and support around autism quite like a literal error 404 messages.
So after some bumps in the road and some literal travel to see what other people have to say about autism and supporting autistic people after diagnosis, I got my book proposal ready. I knew what I missed out on after diagnosis, and I kept hearing the same questions about what others wanted to know after diagnosis which meant the chapter outlines practically wrote themselves. After tweaking what felt like the fastest piece of writing I’ve ever done (if you discount the three years of pondering) I reached out to Jessica Kingsley Publishers in 2021 with an idea and got to writing during the year that followed.
2022 saw me completing the book and handing over the completed manuscript to the production team for them to take over. One meticulous vision board from me and the work of a talented designer brought the gorgeous cover into reality. I knew I didn’t want to replicate the books that had crushed my self-esteem and identity after diagnosis, that didn’t feel like they represented the autistic people I’ve come to know or me. We stayed away from “autism blue”, puzzle pieces and anything that symbolised deficit, instead choosing a more abstract representation of what I termed “summer turning into autumn” synaesthesia because that’s my favourite time of year and the colours bring me joy.
So, I'm Autistic is the book I needed as a teen but couldn't find anywhere; the questions I had that were left unanswered as I worked my way through to adulthood.
"So, I'm Autistic: An Introduction to Autism for Young Adults and Late Teens" is now available for pre-order, and on 21st June 2023, I'm going to fulfil a childhood dream of being a published author.
