On the value of rest
Rest can be hard to come by in a world where we are encouraged to constantly look to and move onto the next thing. Image description: Scrabble tiles that spell out “rest” on a white fabric background.
This blog started after a flare of my chronic health conditions that began growing from February and culminated in a period of burnout in marred most of May, it is something I am still recovering from.
Rest in a restless society
Recently I came to the abrupt realisation that I don’t often afford myself time to rest. Instead, I take every free moment to continually work towards the next iteration of myself, to secure the next safety net for when or if I take a pause. This is unsustainable for two reasons. The first being that there isn’t a chance to stop in this cycle as it self perpetuates, so the notion of finding a safe spot to pause, stop or rest is actually false. The second being that there is a focus on the next version of myself rather than the current reality of existence which doesn’t enable me to actually enjoy the self that I have, next does not necessarily mean better.
To me, rest means the moments that you’re not filling with everything expected of you (conversation, critical thought, housework or employment/ education), rest can be active or passive but ultimately it has to be chosen. It is a choice to go for a walk in green space, it might be physical exertion but it may also be afforded the time and physical space to mentally rest. It is a choice to not push your body and relax with an easy to read book or entertainment that doesn’t demand too much thought (not everything needs to be an intense whodunit).
Practically however these are small acts of rest in a society that demands full attention at all times, we are not often afforded time or space to rest. We are pushed to work, care for others, engage with others and use our time to the highest level of efficiency. In public spaces places to sit, rest or loiter are increasingly infrequent as architecture becomes increasingly hostile, in private spaces we are pushed to live in as little room as possible which never truly afford space to rest alone.
Asking to rest
Changing gears and stopping is not an act that fits within a capitalist society so it can be difficult to actually do. At the moment that you most need rest, the thing you need the least is to then coordinate all the spinning plates that will try to crash as you stop. It can be difficult to have the conversation about needing to pause or stop what you are doing in order to prevent a major crash (if you have the clairvoyant ability to see your crash before it happens) but it is an essential part of accessing the rest that is meaningful. We shouldn’t have to ask for permission to rest but unfortunately, it is something many of us have to do.
As well as seeking external validation to rest we also have to ask ourselves for a period of rest. What are we willing to sideline or turn down to afford ourselves the rest that we need? Rest is not free, it does come at costs but these costs might not be as steep as delaying vitally required rest. Why can we encourage others to take the rest that we struggle to allow ourselves? It is often easier to be kinder to another than it is to provide basic kindness to ourselves, instead of being your own harshest critic I’ve found it useful to mentally review my situation and evaluate it as if I were advising a friend. This creates a more compassionate form of radical honesty that can let us be kind about the rest that we need.
So what is the value of rest?
Rest has the value in helping us reassess, in letting our body heal (whether it be from overworking, lack of sleep or anything else) and supporting us to be our best selves rather than waiting on our better selves. Devaluing rest has short term gain but often long term consequences, so instead of speeding past the warning signs it might be time to listen, reflect and act.
